The cat's buggered off again.

We kept him in for 3 weeks, and suffered a lot in guilt and empathy for his imprisoned state. He seemed ok after that for a week or two. He purred a lot, slept in his favourite spots, and seemed to be fine.

Thing is, the kids all broke their hearts the first time he left, but now we just can't grieve all over again for an animal who's obviously chosen to abandon us. And he's left his fleas! We never noticed them when he was here cos they were all on him, but now they're everywhere. We've tried a spray and I've ordered some more. I hope to God it works cos my son's coming to stay on Friday. It's the first time I've seen him since Christmas and the first time he's been in my new home, so I wanted to make a better first impression than having him bitten to pieces.

Apart from that though, life's good. My husband hasn't been giving me any grief. He asks me every time he encounters me if I've got the child benefit through yet. I haven't but I suspect he has designs on it when I do. He has my youngest daughter at weekends and often through the week, and I give her money to buy food when she goes there.

But I still don't have much furniture or any carpets or curtains or a washer. And I had to pay off nearly £600 in back rent to get my name off the tenancy I shared with my husband. So I really can't spare anything else.

He also asks me if I'm seeing anyone else. He also asks the children and utters dark threats about how he knows I am, and that this person is going to 'get it'. No-one pays any attention because he went on like that for 28 years and it was never true.

But now, unbelievably, it sort of is! I had a crazy night with a guy I work with, and it seems to be turning into something more than a one night stand. He's kind and smart and funny, and he says things that turn me to jelly. There isn't any future to it, but it feels wonderful right now. So I've decided to live day to day, because I could be dead tomorrow and today feels great.

There's a couple of people know about it who know us both, and they're all for it. Which is nice.